


Laundry Day

by Dimity Blue (Arnie)



Category: Randall and Hopkirk (Deceased) (1969)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Obscure and British Commentfest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-14
Updated: 2018-05-14
Packaged: 2019-05-06 20:08:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14655258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arnie/pseuds/Dimity%20Blue
Summary: For the prompt by Timelessapeel: Randall and Hopkirk (Deceased) 1960s version, Jeff Randall and Marty Hopkirk, laundry day.





	Laundry Day

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Obscure and British commentfest on Dreamwidth.  
> https://lost-spook.dreamwidth.org/812931.html

Jeff shuffled back to his bed, feeling rather the worse for wear. He'd known being a private detective was a hard job, but being worked over by three heavies and dumped in the park meant it had been a particularly hard day. Now, all he wanted was to lie in bed and metaphorically lick his wounds.

The sound of a key turning in his door lock told him he wasn't going to get to.

"Jeannie!"

"Oh, Jeff, you look awful. Get back into bed and I'll make you some tea."

Jeff hesitated. Marty was bound to appear at some point and finding Jeannie in his flat and Jeff in pyjamas or - even worse - in bed would undoubtedly set him off. "Actually, I'm feeling better. I was about to get dressed."

Jeannie looked outraged. "Jeff, you're practically grey! And you can't even stand upright!"

Jeff found himself being steered towards the bed, with Jeannie uttering dismayed comments at every step.

"I know you're a tough guy, Jeff Randall, but there's no need to put on an act with me. You were Marty's partner and best friend and that matters to me. What would he think if I let you make yourself worse because you couldn't possibly show weakness in front of m - is that dried blood?!"

"No?" Jeff twisted to see what Jeannie was pointing to then yelped as his body gave a strong protest.

"It is! You can't lie in bed in those pyjamas. You'll get some kind of an infection."

Jeff had spent part of the night lying under a large bush. His bed, even with bloodstained pyjamas, was better than that. "I haven't been to the launderette yet. This is my last pair." Jeff retreated into bed and hid his pyjamas from Jeannie's sight.

"There's blood on the sheets too. Oh, Jeff, you can't be comfortable!"

"Jeannie, love, I'm fine. Make me a cup of tea and I'll be okay."

She gave him an ominous look. "I'm going to do far better than that!" Within minutes, she had all Jeff's laundry in a bag and was standing over him demanding his sheets and pyjamas.

Jeff clutched his covers and his dignity to his chest. "I'm not giving you those! What will I wear?"

"You'll have your blankets, and you'll stay in bed drinking your tea while I'm gone. We might as well get everything done at once. You'll be far more comfortable in clean pyjamas and clean sheets."

"No. Absolutely not. I refuse."

Five minutes later, Jeannie was on her way to the launderette and Jeff had his blankets and a cup of tea to comfort himself with.

It was just that Jeannie was a woman, that was all, Jeff decided. If a man had attempted to steal his sheets and pyjamas, Jeff would have known just what to do. (Put him in a headlock until he passed out and dump him under the fire escape.) But he couldn't have done that to Jeannie. What would Marty say?

What would Marty say if he could see Jeff now? Jeff, naked in bed, and Jeannie in possession of his pyjamas. Jeff didn't need to be a mind reader to know. There'd be a lot of arm waving and comments about, "My wife!" As if Jeff would ever make a move on Jeannie. Not that she wasn't a beautiful woman, but she was Marty's widow and that meant she was off limits. It was a pity Marty couldn't understand that.

With that thought, Jeff finished his tea, closed his eyes, and drifted off to sleep.

He didn't know how long he'd slept before he became aware of Marty's voice.

"Jeff! Jeff! Are you awake?"

Jeff opened his eyes. "I am now."

"What are you doing in bed? And with no pyjamas!"

Jeff hurriedly adjusted his blanket. "I had pyjamas! And I'm trying to recuperate after last night and Henderson's heavies."

Marty shook his head. "I told you not to go but you wouldn't listen."

"Yes, I know."

"I said it was a mistake. I said they'd see you."

"Yes, I know."

"And now look! Here you are, in bed, with no... Where are your pyjamas?"

There was no way Jeff was telling Marty that Marty's wife had Jeff's pyjamas. "Um..."

Marty disappeared then quickly reappeared. "All your laundry's gone." He gave Jeff a knowing look. "You've had a woman here. She made you a cup of tea, soothed your fevered brow, and now she's doing your laundry. That's how men get married, you know."

Jeff shook his head. "It's not like that, Marty."

"Of course it is! They get all intimate washing your pyjamas and next thing you know, wedding bells."

The door opened and there was Jeannie. "I've got your laundry done. Do you want another cup of tea?"

Marty looked outraged. "That's my wife!"

Jeff pulled the blanket over his head. That bush in the park was looking better and better.

The end.


End file.
